Long Distance Loving..

Okay, so this topic just RANDOMLY poped into my head, really it did. I was sitting here CRAAAZY bored at work and said "hmmm, long distance..does it work?"

Well, I had a long distance relationship before and NO it did not work. It didn't work because the trust had been broken in the relationship and I tried to get by that, but nope didn't work. However, I know a lot of people who do have long distance relationships but I don't know if I could try that again. I mean you NEVER know what the other is doing. Damn the always calling/texting ish..you don't know what their doing..but I guess if you have the trust that is all you need, or maybe they have that "don't ask, don't tell" in the relationship?

Hmmm makes you sit back and think. I mean would i REALLY want to know if the person I love so much has another fling going on in his city? Nah, I don't think I would..Well, what are your thoughts?

One Night Stand..Where Do You Stand?

Oh yeah, I am going there with this post. Why? Well, it ACTUALLY crossed my mind this weekend on my ski trip. Now, I won't go into too many details becase the rule of the trip was "What happens on the slopes, stays in the slopes" but I will touch on the "ONE NIGHT STAND" theory. I am a 25 yr old young lady who is pretty open about any "sexual talk". I mean why would you want to hide that? Anywho, I found myself in situations where I could have had a one night stand, or should I say "stands". However, I stoped myself. I WANTED to go there, but then I didn't, if that makes any sense. I think sometimes you have such a strong sexual attraction with people it JUST happens.

HOWEVER, I think I was thinking too much about it. I mean really a one night stand doesn't make you less of a person. You were just caught in the moment of passion and you expressed it with another human. Anyone would like to have a night of passion right? but at what cost? You may be thinking "hmmm, now what does THAT mean?". I mean at what cost of being talked about by other males who THINK they could have a one night stand with you. That would be a NEGATIVE! In my book, just because you may have had a one night stand with a man DOES NOT mean you will have another with just anyone who "hears" about your act. Hell, I have heard that some so called "ONE NIGHT STANDS" have turned into a nice relationship, so who knows. All I know is that I stoped myself, I thought "No Candice, you can't do that, it will mess with you afterwards" Or was that me just thinking too much into it? I don't know..can you tell me?

QUESTION: Have any of you had a "ONE NIGHT STAND"? What happened?

MUSIC for your PLEASURE: "One Night Stand" by J-Shin feat. Tasha Scott (of Xscape)

One Night Stand - J-Shin

Do You Live For YOUR Man?

Well, I hope not but sad to say I know some females who seem like they live for their man. To the point where if it didn't work out I don't know what they would do with themselves. It's pretty sad if you ask me and I never want to slip into the "living for my man" category.

Now, you may wonder what sparked this right? Well my co-worker send me this email and it was titled "Never Live Your Life for a Man". Below, I will add what is said. EVERYTHING is there is TRUE. Please DO NOT SKIM IT LADIES.

"Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you trulyhappy. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you asyou deserve then NO, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing youalong, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will getbetter." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying whenthings are not better.The only person you can control in a relationship is you.Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of differentwomen. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would hetreat you any differently? Always have your own set of friendsseparate from his. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. Ifsomething bothers you, speak up.Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later. Youcannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within. Don't EVERmake him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has moreeducation or in a better job
Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothingless.Never let a man define who you are.Never borrow someone else's man. If he cheated with you, he'll cheaton you. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.All men are NOT dogs, But Most ARE! You should not be the one doingall the bending... compromise is two way street.You need time to heal between relationships... there is nothing cuteabout baggage...Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you... a relationshipconsists of two WHOLE individuals... look for someone complimentary,notSupplementary. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right. Make him miss yousometimes... when a man always know where You are, and you're always
readily available to him - he takes it for granted. Never move intohis mother's house.Whether it's a car or his actionsNever co-sign for a man. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't giveyou everything that you need and want.Keep him in your radar but get to know others. This will either makeyou smile, rethink your current situation/choices, and another womanprepare, and a man aware. If a man wants you, nothing can keep himaway. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior. Allow your intuition(or spirit) to save you from heartache. Stop trying to change yourselffor a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better in all Cases."

Nuff Said. THOUGHTS?

Not Happy? Why Stay?

So, I will admit. It's been a MINUTE since I have updated this site. Was it the lack of topics? NOPE! Lack of time? Perhaps..but I'm BACK! When I was actually planning on coming back I got really sick and I'm still not 100% now but I'm making it do what it has to do :o)

The topic, "NOT HAPPY? WHY STAY?" It's such a simple phrase, makes it seem easy right? WRONG! Something so simple is something that is actually very confusing. I had the honor to host a mini brunch for my Mommy's 50th birthday and I was surrounded by such beautiful, strong black women but when the discussion started I couldn't believe how many were NOT happy. Now, I'm not saying their not happy about everything, but each one had something going on in their life and it always dealt with the other sex. It amazes me how much women have to deal with these days. I'm 25 and I'm like "man, will a man ever come my way who is worthy, who will understand me, will know my worth AND his?" I still think it will happen, I'm NOT a bitter woman, I love "love", but the question is how much do you love "love" to not be happy?

I am ALWAYS the first one to be like "uhhhh, not dealing with it..BYE!" Now I know that ius not always the correct way, but life is too short for me NOT to be happy and because of one person? No thanks! Yes, I know when you get married things get complicated, but you should be happy. You should not think your the only one in the marriage. I mean if so, then "WHY DID GET YOU EVER GET MARRIED?". I don't know folks, help me out. I mean really, it's 2009. If you are not getting something you want out of the relationship then move on. BE HAPPY.

*MOVIE SUGGESTION*

Tyler Perry's "Why Did I Get Married?"